School is not condusive to blogging...sigh, but I am very grateful for school ANNND tomorrow is the Sabbath!!!
I felt sharing this little poem would be suited for my current lack of posts:
Lord of Economics
Creator of my Brain
I find I'm wishing for a Tonic
to Alleviate the Strain.
Just a little pill or potion
to give my thoughts a Spark
Instead of this confusion
that leaves me in the Dark.
But then, I hear that Blessed Song
Sung by the Saints of Old.
It proclaims Your Great Faithfulness,
New Mercies to unfold.
Forgive me, LORD, for doubting.
You Understand my Pain!
Oh, trade my mumbling now for praying.
Please Bless my Tired Brain!
written @ 11:45pm October 9, 2011
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
I really should be packing...
...but as I was going through all my things to pack for my return to school, I came across a journal from last year:
September 7, 2010 - 8:44am - Tuesday - at the Overlook
My heart is discouraged beyond words. I am in such a beautiful place - full of wonderful, God-fearing people, yet my flesh insists on doubting.
I legitimately feel like Jeckel and Hyde. One second, I'm praying to ask You to help me to trust in You, the next I'm despairing over the vanity of life and seriously questioning my belief in my creator.
As I look into the valley, something within me (Your Spirit) delights and whispers joyfully: "How can it not be true? Surely He is the LORD. Just look at His creation!" Yet this heaviness weighs down on me. It suffocates every joy, every delight in the day's simple treasures.
"My heart pants for You - oh God - the living God! As a deer pants for water, so my heart pants for You my LORD." Help me to take these doubts captive. Do not forsake me. Do not give me over to be conquered by fear and discouragement.
Enable me to seek You this day even amongst the many assignments. I beg of You, Father! Grant me rest in Your Spirit! Bless me with encouragement and cause my heart to love You new and afresh. Mold me into the woman You desire me to be. You are my savior, my boss, my reason for living. May all I am, see, do, think, feel be in line with Your precepts.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now, almost a year later, I can see Jesus sitting with me there on the overlook, holding my stone-cold heart in the palm of His hand. He is delivering me from myself and my doubtful mind. I still have days, but He is teaching me to walk in assurance and joy. If you are in a similar place - doubting His reality, battling anger or depression - know that He is at work and will never allow you, as a believer, to be snatched from the palm of His hand. Don't go through it on your own! Find another believer you can talk to and be encouraged by. Blessings to you, immense blessings, beyond what you can ask for or imagine.
"Blessed be the LORD, for he has wondrously shown his steadfast love to me when I was in a besieged city. I had said in my alarm, "I am cut off from your sight." But you heard the voice of my pleas for mercy when I cried to you for help."
Psalm 31:21-22
Friday, July 29, 2011
Amy ---------------
Today, Momma, Lai Lai (my little sister), and I drove to the Mennonite Pantry on the edge of our county to pick up a few groceries. My family has been going there for ages. It is a delightful place where they sell herbs, assortments of candies, flours, homemade goodies, and scrumptious soups and sandwiches. For the past several years there has been a beautiful young woman working there named Amy -------. Amy's loving spirit and genuine smile never failed to brighten our day whenever we came to buy flax seed or cowboy cookies. Mom and I never knew her very well, but we did know that she made THE BEST sandwich at the Mennonite Pantry and that Christ shined so bright and clear from her being that her effect on those around was obvious.
Knowing these things was enough to make my heart cry out in dismay upon seeing on the check out counter this afternoon a photo of Amy with a piece of paper lying next to it that read: "Amy --------. Gone to be with God on May 29, 2011. Car Accident."
"Mom, Mom!" ... Silence. The young lady checking us out at the counter met our eyes as we turned our sad and questioning gaze towards hers.
We asked her how it had happened and she gave us the following story:
Amy was on her way to T-------- to teach her Sunday school class and crashed into a telephone pole that split in half and crushed most of her car. She had not been speeding. The roads were dry. She was, obviously, not intoxicated, and there was no animal or other driver involved in the accident. They had been informed that Amy never braced herself for impact. If she had done so, her leg would have been broken and her body tense and braced. Yet, this was not the case. The accident was not this young lady's cause of death. She had passed before her car ever ran off the road.
Okay, so that's not unheard of, but she died of "natural causes" - no heart attack, no stroke, nothing. She was just gone. And with tears of joy I can share with you that we are certain of where she is, right now, at this very moment. For, everyone that saw her face (from those who removed her from the car to those that prepared her for her burial) said that they (despite the partial disfigurement from the car's impact) had never seen a face more full of pure joy, awe, and wonder.
...My friends, it was simply time for her to go home. Our Father wanted her with Him. She sees Him now, face to face, in perfect joy and wholeness. Amy is continuing to glorify God by enjoying Him forever.
LORD, thank You for Amy. I know she is missed greatly. So, be with those who must miss her very much. If a family who only saw her a few times a year feels a great loss at her leaving this world, I cannot imagine her family's pain.
Thank You for Your promise of Heaven and how You have confirmed it to me and my Mom today. I long to see Your face. May Your named be glorified even though we cannot understand Your ways. Amen.
Knowing these things was enough to make my heart cry out in dismay upon seeing on the check out counter this afternoon a photo of Amy with a piece of paper lying next to it that read: "Amy --------. Gone to be with God on May 29, 2011. Car Accident."
"Mom, Mom!" ... Silence. The young lady checking us out at the counter met our eyes as we turned our sad and questioning gaze towards hers.
We asked her how it had happened and she gave us the following story:
Amy was on her way to T-------- to teach her Sunday school class and crashed into a telephone pole that split in half and crushed most of her car. She had not been speeding. The roads were dry. She was, obviously, not intoxicated, and there was no animal or other driver involved in the accident. They had been informed that Amy never braced herself for impact. If she had done so, her leg would have been broken and her body tense and braced. Yet, this was not the case. The accident was not this young lady's cause of death. She had passed before her car ever ran off the road.
Okay, so that's not unheard of, but she died of "natural causes" - no heart attack, no stroke, nothing. She was just gone. And with tears of joy I can share with you that we are certain of where she is, right now, at this very moment. For, everyone that saw her face (from those who removed her from the car to those that prepared her for her burial) said that they (despite the partial disfigurement from the car's impact) had never seen a face more full of pure joy, awe, and wonder.
...My friends, it was simply time for her to go home. Our Father wanted her with Him. She sees Him now, face to face, in perfect joy and wholeness. Amy is continuing to glorify God by enjoying Him forever.
LORD, thank You for Amy. I know she is missed greatly. So, be with those who must miss her very much. If a family who only saw her a few times a year feels a great loss at her leaving this world, I cannot imagine her family's pain.
Thank You for Your promise of Heaven and how You have confirmed it to me and my Mom today. I long to see Your face. May Your named be glorified even though we cannot understand Your ways. Amen.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
The past couple of months the LORD has been showing me how He is the only one in whom I can find true joy and satisfaction, BUT He’s been doing so through an interesting method that I never saw coming:
for I take pleasure in it.
Turn my heart to Your decrees
and not to material gain.
Turn my eyes from looking at what is worthless;
give me life in Your ways."
Psalm 119:35-37
He has been granting me the things that I think I want. From peaches to air conditioning, a favorable job assignment and often the praise and attention of others. I will think that I really want something. 'If I could just have this or that! Then, I would feel content!' But when I get whatever it is, I still feel empty, hungry, dissatisfied. Huh…??? This doesn't satisfy either???
It appears that He, and He alone, is the one who can fill me up. How often I forget.
"Help me stay on the path of Your commands,for I take pleasure in it.
Turn my heart to Your decrees
and not to material gain.
Turn my eyes from looking at what is worthless;
give me life in Your ways."
Psalm 119:35-37
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Colossians 3:23-24
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Colossians 3:23-24
I found this poem in one of my Dad's poetry books and really liked it. Here it is:
I found this poem in one of my Dad's poetry books and really liked it. Here it is:
The Divine Office Of The Kitchen
“God walks among the pots and pipkins” – St. Teresa
Lord of the pots and pipkins, since I have not time to be
A saint by doing lovely things and vigiling with Thee,
By watching in the twilight dawn, and storming Heaven’s gates,
Make me a saint by getting meals, and washing up the plates!
Lord of the pots and pipkins, please, I offer Thee my souls,
The tiresomeness of tea leaves, and the sticky porridge bowls!
Remind me of the things I need, not just to save the stairs,
But so that I may perfectly lay tables into prayers.
Accept my roughened hands because I made them so for Thee!
Pretend my dishmop is a bow, which heavenly harmony
Makes on a fiddle frying pan; it is so hard to clean,
And, ah, so horrid! Hear, dear Lord, the music that I mean!
Although I must have Martha hands, I have a Mary mind,
And when I black the boots, I try Thy sandals, Lord to find.
I think of how they trod our earth, what time I scrub the floor.
Accept this meditation when I haven’t time for more!
Vespers and Compline come to pass by washing supper things.
And, mostly I am very tired; and all the heart that sings
About the morning’s work, is gone before me into bed.
Lend me, dear Lord, Thy Tireless Heart to work in me instead!
My matins are said overnight to praise and bless Thy name
Beforehand for tomorrow’s work, which will be just the same;
So that it seems I go to bed still in my working dress.
Lord make Thy Cinderella soon a heavenly Princess.
Warm all the kitchen with Thy Love and light it with Thy Peace!
Forgive the worrying, and make the grumbling words to cease.
Lord, who laid Breakfast on the shore, forgive the word which saith
“Can any good thing come to God out of poor Nazareth?”
Cecily Hallack
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
A Papa Story: "Mr. Jinks' Three Legged Dog"
So, my Papa is basically THE BEST in every way!!! One of those ways happens to be that he tells fabulous stories about his childhood, and the best part about them is - they are true.
Here is one of them:
When Papa was about 14 or 15 years old, every once and awhile his dad ("Daddy Clemmons") would take him along to the cattle auctions in Fayetville (pronounced Fet-ville). Well, Ole Mr. Jinks from down the road had a three legged dog that he had brought to the auction to leave there and get rid of. He dropped the dog off and drove to the other side of the complex. Daddy Clemmons says to Papa, "Willie, boy, don't you tell nobody," and picks up Ole Jinks' dog and puts him in the back of their truck. He and Papa drove home with the dog and dropped him off at the Jinks' house. When Ole Jinks returned from Fayetille (a 45 minute drive down the highway) he found that 3-legged dog sleeping on the porch. "By golly! That there dog done beat me home! Incredible!" Haha!!!
Ole Jinks took the dog with him to the auctions again a few weeks later and tried to drop him off again. Well, Papa saw it and ran and told Daddy Clemmons. So they quick called the dog and took him home again.
The next day, Ole Mr. Jinks sees Daddy Clemmons and says to him, "You won't believe it, Clemmons, but that 3-legged dog o'mine ran home so fast yesterday that he beat me and my truck home. His feet were so burnt up from running like that, that we had to soak'em in water!" Haha! Ole Jinks went around telling everybody about his spectacular 3-legged dog!
Here is one of them:
When Papa was about 14 or 15 years old, every once and awhile his dad ("Daddy Clemmons") would take him along to the cattle auctions in Fayetville (pronounced Fet-ville). Well, Ole Mr. Jinks from down the road had a three legged dog that he had brought to the auction to leave there and get rid of. He dropped the dog off and drove to the other side of the complex. Daddy Clemmons says to Papa, "Willie, boy, don't you tell nobody," and picks up Ole Jinks' dog and puts him in the back of their truck. He and Papa drove home with the dog and dropped him off at the Jinks' house. When Ole Jinks returned from Fayetille (a 45 minute drive down the highway) he found that 3-legged dog sleeping on the porch. "By golly! That there dog done beat me home! Incredible!" Haha!!!
Ole Jinks took the dog with him to the auctions again a few weeks later and tried to drop him off again. Well, Papa saw it and ran and told Daddy Clemmons. So they quick called the dog and took him home again.
The next day, Ole Mr. Jinks sees Daddy Clemmons and says to him, "You won't believe it, Clemmons, but that 3-legged dog o'mine ran home so fast yesterday that he beat me and my truck home. His feet were so burnt up from running like that, that we had to soak'em in water!" Haha! Ole Jinks went around telling everybody about his spectacular 3-legged dog!
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Annnnd Begin
Dear You (Whoever you are),
The theme of my life lately has been 'learning to trust the faithfulness of God.' He's been teaching me that everywhere I go, whatever I'm doing, in every joy, surprise, and discomfort HE has placed me there on purpose. Just as Esther was purposefully put in Xerxes palace "for such a time as this" (a time to be used to deliver her people from genocide), HE carefully places us. {Hence - the title of my blog.} HE's helping me to believe that even when i don't understand or necessarily appreciate the time in which HE's placed me.
In this particular time of my life, it happens to be time to blog :-) I've been cheered and challenged by things that other's have written and thereby am inspired to blog myself. ...Please don't take that to mean that I believe myself to be a profound author/philosopher with all of life's answers, cause that would be the complete opposite of what I mean. My prayer is that if you're encouraged or challenged, touched by laughter or tears that it is because you are able to know that you are not alone in your journey with HIM through this sharing of ...blogging stuff... If you choose, this can be two way sharing (in other words: I'd love to hear your stories, via comments etc), but one way is fine too. It's up to you. So, the plan is to share life: journal some, share poems/songs/etc, tell silly stories and life's happenings. You can take it or leave it.
Yours Affectionately,
Callie
The theme of my life lately has been 'learning to trust the faithfulness of God.' He's been teaching me that everywhere I go, whatever I'm doing, in every joy, surprise, and discomfort HE has placed me there on purpose. Just as Esther was purposefully put in Xerxes palace "for such a time as this" (a time to be used to deliver her people from genocide), HE carefully places us. {Hence - the title of my blog.} HE's helping me to believe that even when i don't understand or necessarily appreciate the time in which HE's placed me.
In this particular time of my life, it happens to be time to blog :-) I've been cheered and challenged by things that other's have written and thereby am inspired to blog myself. ...Please don't take that to mean that I believe myself to be a profound author/philosopher with all of life's answers, cause that would be the complete opposite of what I mean. My prayer is that if you're encouraged or challenged, touched by laughter or tears that it is because you are able to know that you are not alone in your journey with HIM through this sharing of ...blogging stuff... If you choose, this can be two way sharing (in other words: I'd love to hear your stories, via comments etc), but one way is fine too. It's up to you. So, the plan is to share life: journal some, share poems/songs/etc, tell silly stories and life's happenings. You can take it or leave it.
Yours Affectionately,
Callie
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